The Woman Who Knew Too Much

"If we aren't going to be afraid of conflict, we have to see it as thinking." - Margaret Heffernan

On a professional level, all too much, those that disagree are seen in negative connotations. Oftentimes, these individuals are deeply misunderstood. As Heffernan points out, most individuals instinctively avoid conflict and fall victim to being an echo chamber (which is a new term for me, and frankly, I like it because it accurately describes 'yes' people). By avoiding conflict to merely "get along" ofttimes leads individuals and organizations astray.

Colleagues should first seek first to understand, then to be understood. They should also employ Covey's Habit #6: synergy. Just because someone doesn't agree with you, does not mean that you cannot work together toward the greater good. All too often, people flock to those that are like them. Heffernan pointed this out, too. Like the doctor she discussed in her TED talk, Alice Stewart, worked with statistician George Neal to strengthen her findings. Dr. Stewart properly used synergy! As a result, pregnant women today are not X-rayed, and she found the reason why children were being diagnosed with cancer.

Synergy

It is clear that Kiran Sethi, founder of the Riverside School in Ahmedebad, believes in synergy. By teaching students the valuable lesson of 'I can', her students made a real difference in their homes, their community, and ultimately their country. Her students also learned the valuable lesson of synergy, which combines the strengths of individuals through positive teamwork, so as to achieve goals that would have been more difficult if done alone. To synergize, one must understand that there is not only one way to go about doing things. By working together, the students accomplished more than they would have acting alone.

{{To relate this back to what is going on in my world:}}
I am currently working on a project that I simply could not accomplish by myself for many reasons. This directly correlates back to Sharpening the Saw and spending the majority of my time in Quadrant II. By delegating work to qualified others has allowed me to place my energy into the things that are my highest priority.

{[Interesting (& funny) photos of unique teamwork and synergy:}}

Pay it Forward

I love TED talks; I really do! I am most excited that you would require this of your students, Dr. Sterken. I started listening to TED talks a few years ago ACTUALLY because of you. We share the same hair stylist, Shannon Cooper. I was in Shannon's chair a few years ago when you shared with her a TED talk that you believed she sound see. I asked Shannon what TED talks were, looked it up, and have been hooked ever since. I've never told you that before, but after watching Drew Dudley's TED talk on everyday leadership, I felt that you should know that you are the reason I was first introduced to TED a few years ago!

This TED talk is actually a coincidence. Funny how that happens, huh? Oddly enough, Mark Clements from HR came into my office earlier today, and we were talking about how he helped me years ago with my resume. My resume was really lacking when I first applied at the university 7+ years ago. {{In Novemeber, I will have worked at UT Tyler for 5 years. How is that even possible? It certainly doesn't seem like its been 5 years!}} Mark was working in HR and was the individual that emailed applicants that they had NOT receieved the job that they applied for. After nearly 2 years of applying for positions but not being hired at the university, I contacted Mark, who offered to look over my resume. My resume was terrible, and he kindly pointed it out. I eventually was hired at the university, likely because of his assistance with my resume. Since then, I met a young alum who was in the same position as me years ago, Rana. Rana had been looking for a teaching position for over 2 years, and was still unable to find a school district that would hire her. I 'paid it forward', and took what I had learned from resume writing from Mark, and applied it to Rana's resume. I actually just received an email last week from Rana who has been hired by a local school district! In turn, she has promised to help someone with their job search and resume like I helped her, and like Mark helped me. It's just like Dudley pointed out in his TED discussion, we really can celebrate leadership as the everyday act of improving other's lives. Leadership isn't only for the extraordinary!

This TED talk directly correlates to Covey's Habit 6: Synergize. By combining the strengths of individuals with positive teamwork, goals are accomplished that likely could not have been if an individual was working alone. If it had not been for Mark, I would not have been in the position to help Rana, and I know that Rana will also pay it forward. 

Balance & Women...

I've never thought of myself as a feminist. As a matter of fact, I still like to have my doors opened for me and the chair pulled out for me at dinner. Does that make me a feminist? No, not exactly. However, as a woman, I know of the difficulties that we face and I take a stand for what should be equal.

Habit 2, 'Begin With the End in Mind' centers around developing a personal mission statement or philosophy. At the core of my {{developing}} mission statement is balance. Balance is a very difficult thing for women, especially me.

Sandberg's TED talk, 'Why we have too few women leaders' really struck a cord with me. I'm going to 'put myself out there' in this post, or as you would say Dr. Sterken, find my voice. I've blogged before...it was just a silly fashion blog, but never about personal items because I am pretty private about my private life. I know what my voice is, I just frankly don't like vulnerability, and I feel publishing one's thoughts makes them more vulnerable. However, I feel inclined to open up on this particular subject...

In April, I learned that I was pregnant. While pregnant, I was doing EXACTLY what Sandberg discussed in her TED talk: I was leaving before I even left. How embarrassing! It's like I mentally checked out on vacation for a while. I was making decisions too far in advance. {{By the way, it'd be interesting to learn if this phenomenon happens to men who are expecting a baby.}}

In late June, I learned that I had lost the baby to a miscarriage. It's taken some time to bounce back, but I've dived into my career once again, am one of the 7% who negotiate for their salary, and am enjoying my career more now than I ever have before.

How does Sandberg's TED talk relate back to Covey's 7 Habits? For me, this talk directly correlates back to balance which is at the heart of Habit 2.

Lead with the end in mind

I am almost certain that my junior high volleyball coach must have read The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Covey's second habit of beginning with the end in mind is a principle that I can remember my coach sharing with us in 7th grade. Our team wasn't winning many games early into the season until Coach Cryer shared a secret with us. Our problem was (mostly) our serves. Many girls couldn't serve the volleyball without the net first getting in the way. The secret that Coach Cryer shared with us was to envision our serve; envision following through with it, and see our serve making it over the net. It worked! Like a charm. Coach Cryer, a leader to her junior high volleyball team, led with the end in mind. It's funny what stays with you and what doesn't. This principle has stuck with me for years.

Last week, I facilitated a large meeting that involved many people from the university and leaders from the community. It was such a large task that I had to stop myself and ask what was the goal I wanted to accomplish. By doing this, I was beginning with the end in mind. I worked backwards in a way. I needed leadership and community involvement. From there, I was able to take the necessary steps to accomplish my goal. I believe by doing this I showed true leadership. The meeting was very successful, by the way. 

Derek Sivers in his TED talk discusses ways in which start a movement. His surprising footage on a group of young people shows how movements really are started: by one person knowing what they want to happen, and acting upon it. A leader should always begin with the end in mind. By doing this, the leader knows what the next steps should be and can lead his/her followers to the final destination. 

Being proactive and the effect it can have on the meaning of our work...

Confucius once said, "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life."

In his widely popular TED talk, behavioral economist Dan Ariely poses the question of what motivates us to work. It's a question almost as proverbial as what it means to be happy.

The inquiry of what motivates those of us in the workforce is a question that has recently been in my thoughts. As a matter of fact, I am sure that it is on the mind of many young professionals early in their career. This question directly correlates back to Covey's habit of being proactive. By taking initiative in life and realizing that one's decisions are primarily the determining factor for effectiveness in one's life is at the core of this principle. Taking initiative gives one a sense of purpose, which Ariely concludes is what motivates us to work. For many, it's not money or joy alone that get us out of bed in the morning and into our desk chairs.

Recently, I met a prospective donor who informed me that a son of a friend of hers is considering attending the university that I work for. I was informed that the mother of the son would contact me in a few days to request a tour of the campus. However, instead of waiting for a call that may never have come, I was proactive in calling them. This assured that the relationship building would begin. By being proactive and calling the mother, I made the prospective student and his mother feel special. People really do like to feel special.

Being proactive made me feel that I was doing my job well, and that feeling has encouraged me to get ahead of the curve yet again. I will proactively follow up with the mother and son to see if there is anything further that I could assist them with. In turn, this shows the prospective donor that the university is proactive and takes care of their students.

Post 2 - Covey

Having previously read Stephen R. Covey's book, 'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People', the word paradigm has since become my favorite word. Seriously. The way I explain the word to those who do not know what it means, is, 'paradigm is the way in which we see the world; the lens through which we perceive almost everything." One's outlook on a particular issue often times determines one's mindset, beliefs, and attitude. By changing our paradigm, or the way we look at things, our plan of action, etc. often changes. 

One of my favorite exercises is to look at a drawing that has multiple images and each person sees something else. It's the same thing when you look up at clouds with a person; one person could see a smiling crocodile while the other sees a monkey holding a balloon. It's all in the way a person looks at something. This is precisely what Covey is demonstrating with the old woman/young woman drawing in his 'inside-out' chapter.